I’m not a religious person. Period. I was baptized as a baby, but I haven’t set foot in a church, except as a tourist and on my wedding day, in at least ten years. I understand and appreciate that religion and God are an important part of a lot of people’s lives, but organized religion is not something I personally find any use for. I do believe in a higher being of sorts, although with each passing year I can’t help but question what that even means.
And yet there are occasions that, for whatever reason, I feel the need to pray to God. I was reminded of this as I sat on an airplane today, taxing towards the runway and was compelled to repeat a ritualized mantra asking God for safe passage through the skies. I have done this every time I’ve gotten on an airplane for as long as I can remember. My father is a pilot, I have grown up around airplanes and been flying probably since before I could even walk so I don’t fear planes or travel and yet every time I board one I go against everything I believe in and say a little prayer.
Why do I do this, when I otherwise find no place for religion in my life? What compels me to mumble incoherently under my breath as I watch the runway disappear and shrink beneath us? If not out of fear and not out of true belief, then what? Perhaps I just find comfort in the ritual, or maybe I'm more of a believer than I think.
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